Random Monday Football Night Thoughts

- Troy Aikman may be the best announcer with over 47 concussions in the history of television. I hated him when he played, but I have to give him props on this one. You’d think he’d have the Muhammad Ali head-on-a-slinky routine going after all the hits he took

- Michael Irvin is a moron.

- Courtney Watson is now the starting middle linebacker for the New Orleans Saints. This is the same man with whom Gerome Sapp and I played Kings in Castle Point not two years ago, and the same man who told off Susan Belleza in Finance 231 four years ago. Weird. By the way, how cool is this picture of Courtney tackling Julius Jones?

- Mark Brunell is insanely slow.

- Is it too effeminate to drink white wine while watching Monday Night Football? What’s the ruling here? What if it were red wine? Do you have to drink beer during Monday Night Football? Whatever. I like wine.

- Drew Bledsoe has big black bags around his eyes. Either he’s a heroin addict, or he was up all night last night playing Madden 06 on Playstation trying to prepare for the Redskins.

- It’s so nice to see Julius Jones playing well. The guy deserves it.

- Brady Quinn will have a brighter future in the NFL than Drew Stanton.

- The Indians are playing absolutely DOMINATE baseball right now with a very young team. Sometimes I miss Cleveland.

- Did anyone else see LB Mark Simeneou kick extra points yesterday for the Eagles? David Akers got hurt in the first half, and Simeneou had to come out and kick. It was hilarious, but he made it! This was the equivalent of watching Jose Canseco pitch that one time for the Red Sox about 10 years ago. By the way, I have absolutely no idea how to spell “Mark Simeneou”.

- Cold Mountain is one of those movies that’s better than 99% of the crap Hollywood churns out these days, but it’s still not even close to cracking the AFI Top 100. Same goes for Million Dollar Baby.

- Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet were made for each other. Do you think he kicked the crap out of John Cusak after the hooked up with her in High Fidelity? Come to think of it, I haven’t seen John Cusak in awhile. Of course, if I were going to date one of the Cosby kids, I’d probably have have to go with Sabrina Lebeauf. Although, when looking at her IMDB page, she’s roughly as old as my mother. That’s frightening.

- Are the “amount of time before the Redskins score a touchdown” and the “amount of time it takes Redskins fans to stop giving Joe Gibbs a free pass because he used to be a good coach” inversely proportional?

I need to go to sleep before my head explodes contemplating these mysteries…

Freaking Annoyed

This is going to be a slight rant here, kids.

FMB and I having been planning on coming out to the Bender for the BYU game for quite some time now. It recently came to my attention that the MS Acct program was offering tickets to the game to alumni and their spouses. Since I don’t have tickets yet, I emailed our program director and asked if she could bend the rules ever so slightly so that I may purchase a ticket for my SOON-TO-BE wife. My request garnered a rather curt response from the woman pictured to your left of, “tickets are for spouses ONLY, sorry”. Feel free to send her hate mail.

Are you kidding me? I just got through paying this place $150,000 over the course of five years, and they don’t have it within themselves to allow me the priviledge of purchasing a ticket for my future wife so that I can introduce her to the Notre Dame experience? You are reading the words of one very pissed off Double Domer.

Needless to say, the folks in the MS Acct office will NEVER have to worry about excess demand from me EVER again. They can besar my culo delgado.

R.I.P. Angie Kase

We’re taking this thing international (and other musings)

- Looking at my site stats recently, I noticed that I’ve been getting some international hits. While the majority of these have come from Bulgaria (thanks, Tully), I’ve also gotten a few from Austrailia, Spain, the Netherlands, England, Argentina, and Canada. These are most likely spammers looking for some way to infiltrate my site, but if not, I find it rather interesting that someone from another country would want to look at the garbage I post up here. I find it interesting that someone from this country would want to look at this crap, for that matter.

- I had a great three day weekend of doing absolutely nothing this past weekend. Kelly and I did get a lot of work done on the basement of my house, otherwise known as “the only room in the house I’m allowed to whatever I want with”. This title is misleading, however, because when I began to explain to FMB how I was going to lay out the room vis-a-vis my home entertainment system, I was yelled at because it would be blocking the window thereby causing the room to be “very dark”. So now the way it sounds is that I have until June 10th, 2006 to have the room however I want, at which point it will have to revert to whatever FMB has worked up in her mind, which according to her includes “a little bench by the door”. This is like when George got engaged to Susan, tried to go out to the movies, and was asked, “Are you wearing that shirt?”

- This weekend saw my first home improvement project in which I had to drill a hole in the wall. Needless to say, it was a big day. I hung miniblinds to keep my creepy next door neighbor from leering into the house to catch a glimpse of FMB getting into the shower. I am so old.

- This was not a good betting weekend. At this point I feel more like Mike McD at the beginning of Rounders when Teddy KGB “stick it in him” than at the end when he spots him eating his Oreos. Life goes on.

- I tried Riesling (a type of wine, for those who don’t know) last night for the first time. A little sweet for my taste, but I can see chicks digging it.

- There are a lot of days that I’m disenchanted with my job. There are other days when FMB comes home from the hospital and says, “One of my patients lost his mind tonight, crapped his pants, and proceeded to rub his entire body with his own feces.” At least I have the assurance that I’ll have someone to take care of me when I’m doing that sort of thing at age 75.

- If you’re wondering to yourself, “Why isn’t he talking about this week’s game?”, you’re just going to have to wait. I’m not emotionally ready to discuss it yet.

I’ll be back with more soon…

Day off

Today is September 16th, which for a tax accountant means a day off. At the moment, I’m stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.

Michigan Recap

Well, since the Notre Dame game now took place four days ago, I figured it would be appropriate for me to give my thoughts. Today is September 14th, which in tax accounting terms means “the day before the biggest happy hour of the year”. This is just one moron’s thoughts. If you want a good analysis, head over to Blue Gray Sky.

On to the game…

- We beat #3 Michigan on the road. Michigan fans and other ND haters can say whatever they want, but when you go on the road and beat a top 5 team, that’s an amazing accomplishment, especially for a team that Lee Corso said would start 0-6.

- We won the toss, took the ball to start the game, and went right down the field and scored to shut up the UM fans. Most coaches would defer to the second half, but as Coach Yoda says, “…that shows no confidence in your offense.” The force is most definitely with us.

- While he struggled later in the game, Brady had a great first drive. I expect Weis to settle him down this week, especially for his first start at home. He missed some open receivers and could have really broken the game open.

- Michigan fans are over on their blogs saying, “if we had Mike Hart in the game, and Tim Massaquoi had played, and Lloyd Carr weren’t such a conservative coach, and if the refs had reviewed the QB sneak prior to the goal line fumble, and Chad Henne didn’t play the worst game of his career, and if Steve Breaston could consume the Irish with bolts of lightening from his eyes and fireballs from his arse, we would have won.” Well, here’s the news: NONE OF THOSE THINGS HAPPENED!

- Darius Walker was dog tired by the third quarter. Travis Thomas needs more carries to lighten his load. He’s not a 30 carry a game back. That being said, I’m glad Yoda ran him that much because I took the “over” on his number of carries (19.5).

- Speaking of betting, I’m cleaning up on ND this year. 8 out of 10 bets won. For those of you non-gamblers out there, any time you’re winning 80% you’re doing very well. The only thing I missed on last week was the over. Who would have thought that game would be 17-10? I think I may be turning into the Mike McD of sportsbook.com.

- Is anyone else really worried about Rhema McKnight? According to Weis’s presser yesterday, McKnight had a “procedure” done to his knee and will miss the MSU game. Wide speculation holds that he just had it scoped and could be back for USC. Assuming that’s true, it’s great news considering his knee looked like when you break open a chicken wing at BW-3’s on that play.

- I’m not sure who is the bigger genius: Rick Minter or Bill Lewis.

- As I mentioned in an earlier post, Michigan fans classily (is that a word?) pelted the field with garbage after two calls were correctly reviewed by the refs. Nice.

- On the Irish Eyes Podcast, Ryan Gillis said that Jeff Samardzjia has as good of hands as any receiver in the NFL. I don’t know about that, but the guy can catch a football.

- Corey Mays played an outstanding game at Mike linebacker. The guy was all over the field and laid the wood on Mike Hart that knocked him out of the game. I love it when we knock guys out of games.

- Zbikowski continues to impress, be it intercepting passes on the goal line (nice read, Chad) or returning punts.

- D.J. Fitzpatrick got us out of some jams and helped turn the field position battle in our favor with some great punts.

- Anthony Fasano is like a thumb: you don’t realize how much you need it until it’s not there any more. In fact, I’m going to start calling him Anthony “The Thumb” Fasano.

- Lloyd Carr may be tied with Steve Spurrier as my “most disliked coach in all of sports” (not that Phil Jackson, Bobby Cox, Bobby Knight, Jimmy Johnson, Barry Switzer, George Siefert, Jim Tressel, Lou Pinella, Mack Brown, Pete Carol, or Bob Huggins are really that far behind). That being said, he’s 2-3 vs. Notre Dame in his career despite generally having superior talent. He also provided the quote of the day, courtesy of Chad over at duLac: “We have no excuses. We never make excuses. But we have had some injuries.”

- As soon as I have a picture of Tom Brady wearing an ND hat at his weekly press conference this week per his bet with Yoda, I will post it for your pleasure.

- Michigan State, the Fredo of the Great Lake State, worries me this week for three reasons: 1) Drew Stanton is a freak and the leader of a very good offense, 2) This is a classic letdown game following a huge win on the road (does anyone else remember BC in 2002?), and 3) We always play lousy against them at home. Do you realize we haven’t beaten them at home since 1993? That’s detestable. That being said, I think we play the part of Moe Green and “straighten them out” by at least two touchdowns so they stop nailing cocktail waitresses two at a time.

Sorry for the long post, but these things needed to be said. Have a nice day!

Lloyd Carr’s New Recruiting Strategy

Here’s a picture that’s been floating around the internet today. Apparently Lloyd Carr is doing more for Notre Dame than just being a mediocre coach. After referees reviewed Chad Henne’s fumble on the goal line and gave the ball to the Irish, Michigan fans pelted bottles and other debris onto the field and on top of unsuspecting Michigan recruits.

Thankfully Michigan cronies have cleared up the matter by offering this “indisputable” evidence that the QB sneak previous to the fumble was in fact a touchdown. You know Wolverine fans are clutching at straws when some doofus pauses his TiVO, takes a picture from a horrible angle with his cameraphone, and posts it on the internet as proof that Michigan had scored. Come on, guys. You can’t even distinguish jersey numbers in that rubbish. It’s like you’re searching for the Loch Ness monster on the A&E channel or something. Give me a break.

Luckily Darrin Walls was in attendance on Saturday. I’d like to think that having crap thrown at you by the home town fans is encouragement enough for young Mr. Walls to head to South Bend. Time will tell. Until then…

…stay classy, Ann Arbor.

BP 2005-09-10 (#7)

Here’s a bit of an impromptu Michigan pregame drive cast. Had we lost the game, I don’t know if I’d have posted this. But as it stands, the Irish are freakin’ sweet and Michigan fans are already making excuses. I felt like my euphoria should be conveyed on the blog. No word yet on how Sean Bruen’s gymnastic maneuver turned out.

Just a fair warning: you may want to turn down the volume a bit on your computer…there’s a lot of loud ND band music and bad singing by yours truly.

I’ll be back soon with my weekly analysis of the game!

GAMEDAY #2!

Ok, so Pitt lost in overtime yesterday which does absolutely zero for my confidence vs. Michigan, but I still think we’ll give them a heck of a game and possibly pull out a win in the unfriendly confines of the Big House. I hate freaking Michigan. If anyone can do it, WEIS CAN!

BP 2005-09-08 (#6)

Time to shake the rust off, kids. It’s Butter’s Podcast #6 ready for your listening enjoyment. It’s been awhile, and I think it will take me some time to get back into midseason form. Root for the Irish tomorrow!

thatvideosite.com Videos of the Week for 9/08/05

Ok, good news kids. I stumbled upon this awesome site called www.thatvideosite.com. It’s basically got a whole host of crazy videos and stuff. A lot of SNL, Family Guy, stuff like that, but some other cool stuff as well. Here’s my favorites this week, with the VIDEO OF THE WEEK at the bottom:

- The Perfect Game of Mario: If you’ve ever played Super Mario Bros. for the original NES, this is a must watch. It may be the single most amazing video game display I’ve ever seen. This guy beats the game in 8.5 minutes and every move is flawless. Incredible

- The Not-So Perfect Game of Halo 2: Colin says this is basically what it was like in our house senior year, only with less foot stomping. Probably true.

- My Goal: My old roommate always said I was a redneck, hillbilly bastard. If I can ever get this good, I’ll shoot him and all his tree-hugging pals in Jersey.

- Treat Yo Momma Right: What video collection would be complete without a Mr. T music video? This is the highest of high comedy. I pity da fool!

- What happens when you don’t treat yo momma right?: Holy crap, this guy took a beating at the hands of a (albeit enormous) woman. He may as well wrap up his genitals and put them in safe deposit box because he won’t be needing them for awhile.

- Ever seen American History X?: Here’s a real life reenactment of the infamous “curb scene”. Messed up, and pretty bone chilling.

- Marriage Proposal Gone Awry: Never a good sign when you ask someone to marry you in front of 20,000 people and she runs away as fast as she can.

- VIDEO OF THE WEEK: You know how every claims that “no one can tell when I’m drunk!”? Well, this guy takes it to a new level. Who in the heck can say the alphabet backwards in 10 seconds when they’re sober, let alone drunk? Un-freakin’-believeable! Put that together with his choreographed dance routine, and you have THE VIDEO OF THE WEEK!

Pitt Game Notes

Some points after watching the game Saturday:

- Wow

- We had 502 yards of offense.

- No, seriously, we had 502 yards of offense.

- Have you ever had so much confidence in the offensive play calling? In my 6 years of being associated with ND, I’ve never come out of a game thinking, “Our coach can outwit any defensive coordinator in the country.” I’ve never even come out thinking, “Our coach can outwit any defensive coordinator in the MAC.” This is a nice feeling to have. The blocking scheme on the screen pass for Walker’s TD was incredible. Down by the end zone there were like 5 ND guys surrounding Darius. They were like a hot knife through butter. I also really enjoyed the fake end-around to Rhema. It wasn’t a huge gain, but it was a slick play.

- The RPN/Asaph Schwapp backfield combination is devastating. You just have to think that they can get at least three yards any time we need it. Side note, RPN is on pace for 33 TD’s this year. Nice.

- The offensive line completely dominated an admittedly weak Pitt defensive line. John Latina has made a big difference with those guys. They played “nasty” (especially Levoir), and I loved it.

- We have some of the best TE depth in the country. I love Anthony “Freakin’” Fasano.

- Special teams need to improve. There has got to be some former high school soccer star on campus who can kick the ball into the end zone. But a freaking helmet on him and get him out there!

- How many of their guys left the field with cramps? Their trainers are going to have to start bringing Midol to their games.

- Darius Walker. What more can you say?

- Travis Thomas had some nice carries. As I suspected, I think he’s turning into a great backup with the proper coaching and restored confidence.

- Pitt’s opening drive obviously had me concerned. Mike Richardson is not a good cornerback no matter which way you slice it. I see him as the weak link of our defense for sure. Zbikowski and Ndukwe both bit on that play action pretty badly, but Richardson got burned in the first place. He played better as the game went on, but teams with elite receivers are going to pick on him.

- That being said, our secondary played much better later in the game. I think a big part of that is probably the pressure we were getting on Palko, but they seemed to settle down a bit. I’m not sure if Minter made some sort of adjustment or what, but it worked. Zbikowski is an animal. I absolutely love that guy. He lays some monster hits. Ndukwe is a pretty big hitter in his own right. They’re both basically strong safeties back there. I think Wooden had a great game. He led the team in tackles, and didn’t get picked on in his pass coverage. I hope he continues to improve and becomes the star we thought he would be out of high school.

- This just in: Bill Lewis is a great coach.

- Hoyte played as expected at LB. He’s unquestionably the leader of the defense, and is quickly developing a penchant for injuring opposing quarterbacks. I felt pretty confident in Corey Mays since he’s a 5th year guy and has seen a lot of PT in the past. He was in the backfield on some blitzes, so that was nice to see. I didn’t really notice Maurice Crum much, but he’s supposed to be a freak of an athlete.

- We had 5 sacks, including one each from Abiamiri and Frome. That’s good to see.

- Wanny was completely overmatched. He had the same look I did as a groomsman in my sister’s wedding (completely uncomfortable, lots of people watching me, just trying not to screw up, ultimately just wanting the whole thing to be over with so I could go have a beer).

- Wanny also looks like a slightly more animated version of Bernie Lomax. Just my opinion.

- It was refreshing to see a coach do some coaching. In the 4th quarter with the game well in hand, Ronald Talley tackled Palko out of bounds and got a 15 yard personal foul. It didn’t really matter in terms of game consequences, but Weis was up one side of him and down the other about it on national TV. It was great. Under the Ty regime, he would have called him over and said, “Ronald, could you be a good sport and go ahead and give me a 7:00 AM wake up call tomorrow morning? I don’t want to miss my tee time. Yea, thanks. Oh, by the way, nice form on that tackle.” Weis did the same thing to Jeff Samarldj;ajhg;ah after he didn’t go out for the extra point hold. Sweet.

- While we’re on the subject of penalties, we had a lot of them the other night (10 for 94 yards, I think). I have to believe that the illegal substitution stuff will be ironed out. Stuff like that will drive Weis crazy. That being said, we had a couple of personal fouls that I didn’t really mind. It’s high time we started playing with a little more fire and getting in people’s faces. And any time a large, defensive lineman wants to tackle a huge ass (sorry for the language, but that’s the best word to describe Tyler “I’m overrated and like to say the F-word on national television in front of a million 6 year olds” Palko) out of bounds, I support it. What we don’t want is idiotic hot heads like HB Blades kicking opposing quarterbacks in the head while they’re on the ground. What a piece of garbage.

- I certainly have a lot of respect for persons of power in the government and also happened to like William Rehnquist. However, I think the 57 minute A&E Biography-style montage on his life could have been saved for after the game. I missed David Wolke’s 22 yard run, dangit!

- It was pretty obvious that ABC clipped a bunch of Keith Jackson’s comments from 989 Sports’ vaunted “NCAA Gamebreaker ‘99″ video game and edited them together to provide commentary for the game. “And the running back is tackled by number 9…whoaaaa Nellie…hit ‘em with a stick!”. Did we even get a “whoa Nellie”? I don’t think so. We definitely deserved one. This guy has one foot in the grave. Stick to west coast games, Keith.

- The overall presentation from ABC was pretty pathetic. They knew about three players from each team. Do these guys do any research for the games? This has to be the easiest job in the world. Whoa Nellie!

- If I were Lloyd Carr, I would be crapping my pants right now. As a historically poor “gameday” coach, to see the kind of display that Weis put on Saturday night has to have him nervous. He looks like an angry man already.

The Weis Era Has Begun!

Good gracious, that was amazing. In the immortal words of Kramer, “I feel like a naked innocent boy roamin’ the countryside!”

GAMEDAY!

WNBA

Sorry for the sporadic posting and podcasting over the past couple weeks everyone. Once busy season cools off I hope to have a more regular schedule. As far as I can tell, there’s only about three people that listen to the podcast anyway, so I’m sure I’m not affecting too many souls out there.

A quick link for today: read the Sports Guy’s column on the ill-fated WNBA. He manages to articulate what so many people are already thinking.

Can you believe that picture? Apparantly someone over at the WNBA is trying to make Ruth Riley look sexy. I used to see her at the dining hall all the time, and she never looked like that. That being said, she’s not exactly Heidi Klum, but still, that makeup artist should win some sort of award.