BP 2005-10-21 (#8)

Well, it’s finally here everyone. After a bit of a delay, here’s the inebriated podcast recorded last week in Chicago. If you don’t know FMB, here’s your lucky chance to get to meet her via a podcast. Keep in mind, this was the drunkest I’ve ever seen her. My apologies to anyone we may have offended (I still haven’t listened to the whole thing yet). Special thanks to Joe T for the use of his computer, not to mention his toilet which FMB found most useful later in the night.

In all honesty, I find this thing pretty annoying to listen to. If you agree, I’m sorry.

Hope all is well…

- Butter

BOO THIS MAN!

Only a freaking White Sox fan would drink Smirnoff Ice at a tailgate.

“Mmm…that Smirnoff helps my Midol go down smoooooth.” - Chief

World Series

Congratulations to all you trashy White Sox fans out there. Prepare for major letdown in 2006 when my Indians DOMINATE the AL Central. Until then, enjoy basking in the glory and stench of the South Side.

Chicago was a success

Well, great weekend everybody. FMB and I made it out to Chicago on Wednesday evening and stayed at the home of the a hospitable Joe T for two nights, followed by the all new casa de Colin for the following two evenings. Much thanks to both of those gentlemen for putting us up.

The ND game itself was nothing to write home about, other than the fact that it was FMB’s first ND experience. It was the first time I’d been back to campus since finishing grad school two years ago. It’s different to return to campus and attend a game as an alum vs. as a student. I felt old. Instead of hanging out in the radio tower lot all morning, we meandered about campus taking in all the sights, and even watched the band step off. In five years as a student, I never did this on a game day. Odd.

The highlight of the weekend was without a doubt Thursday night. The evening began with two rather strong Cranberry Vodka’s at Joe T’s house for an underfed FMB. We then trekked off to a local bar where we took in the Virginia Tech/Maryland game (FMB is friends with the starting QB at Maryland, for which I am eternally jealous). It was here that the only food of the evening was enjoyed–a plate full of greasey, but delicious potato skins. After two Woodchuck Ciders, FMB decided it was time to move on after it was quite evident that her Sammy was going to lose the game. Here’s where things get interesting.

On my last trip to Chicago, good buddy Matt McDonald introduced me to a Mexican joint called Ceaser’s. In addition to having delicious burritos, Ceasar’s also sports margaritas the size of your head. The largest ones are knowen as “Mega”, followed by “Jumbo”, and so on. Inasmuch as FMB is a sucker for a margarita, McDonald and myself wholeheartedly suggested a Mega. This leads us into the following equation:

2 Cranberry Vodkas + 2 Woodcuck Ciders + 105 lb. empty-stomached FMB + 1 Mega = Outstanding Entertainment

Upon returning to Joe T’s apartment, we decided our inebriated evening could be best ended with a podcast. At the present time, this podcast is lock safe on Joe T’s hard drive back in Chicago. At this point, I have not listened to it, but Joe T assures me that its entertainment value is strong to very strong. After speaking with FMB last night, she assured me she wouldn’t care if I posted it on the blog. After all, as she says, “No one is going to hear it anyway”. Thanks.

So as soon as I find a way to get a hold of this, it will be up. Until then, take care!

Weekend Plans

For any of you Chicago-ites out there, I will be in town beginning tonight (Wednesday) through Friday, and will be in South Bend for the big matchup vs. the Mormons. If anyone is around, give me a call (same cell number as in college). It will give you a sneak look at Future Mrs. Butter, as I’ll be showing her around campus for the first time.

Good times should be had by all. I’ll try to post an update or two as I have time.

Take care all!

I hate USC

Mixed emotions after yesterday’s game. It’s tough to lose after the clock winds down and you jump up and down screaming thinking you’ve won. This was a statement game for the program, and we stated that we are back. Even though the loss no doubt garners national respect, it still stings to lose at home, with the green jerseys and everything else. Reggie Bush is absolutely sick. The last couple years when we’ve played them, he hasn’t impressed me as much. They’d always won on the backs of their QB’s. This year, he’s the only reason they won. Well, at least we still have the support of Sacred Heart Church in South Bend.

The Fall of Troy is Upon Us

I am a bad person

Some people may feel badly about going to the bank to get $20 in quarters for the train parking lot, walking out of the bank with both rolls in their left hand, having a bum ask them for some spare change on their way back to office, awkwardly replying “No, sorry I don’t have any”, and having random passersby by give them looks as if they just kicked a puppy off a bridge. As of two days ago, I am apparently not one of those people. I’m such a jerk.

Foiled again!

Well, my plans for my usual MNF blog last night were foiled when FMB left the hospital early (thereby likely leaving the lives of several post-heart surgery patients in question) and decided we needed to get some more work done on the house. So instead of enjoying a fine glass of red wine and critiquing John Madden as a sportscaster, I stripped more wallpaper and listened to Game 5 of the Yankees/Angels series in the distance. Consequently, my faithful readers are today left without any witty commentary whatsoever. If I manage to get home at a decent time tonight, perhaps we’ll do an “in lieu of” blog of Game 1 of the ALCS between the Angels and The Trashiest Team in All of Baseball.

- In other news, the UVA offensive lineman that made a dangerous chop-block on crazy BC African Defensive End Mathias Kiwanuka on Saturday was reprimanded with a paltry 1 game suspension by coach Al Groh. After watching the video of the incident here (courtesy of EDSBS), I’m sure you’ll agree that this is ludicrous.

- If you’re not reading duLac, the blog of witty former classmate Chad Kohorst, you’re missing out.

- My impending trip to ND for the BYU game may need to be podcasted. More on this later…

- You may have noticed that my site hit counter eclipsed 1,500 yesterday, but it should be noted that roughly 1,450 of those hits came from me refreshing the page to see if anyone had looked at my blog. I’m so self-absorbed it’s pathetic. For the two people out there that read this, thank you for your support!

Interesting Weekend

Something shocking happened on Friday afternoon. I discovered that I would not have to work this weekend. After working 12 hour days all week and completely expecting to be in on Saturday, you can imagine that this was welcome news. Unfortunately, this would have been the perfect weekend for me to work: crappy weather, no ND football, and it happened to be FMB’s weekend to work at the hospital. In other words, if forced to do tax returns, I wouldn’t be missing anything.

Despite this fact, I am by no means one to turn down a day off. I’ve had to catch up on a lot of stuff around the house that I haven’t had time for lately, most notably a local tax return that I somehow forgot about and was approximately 6 months late in filing (and you wonder how my firm was recently charged $456 million by the U.S. government for questionable tax practices). Besides the boring stuff, here’s what went down:

- You are reading the blog of a man that does not currently subscribe to cable television. If you know me, you know that this is quite an anomaly. Essentially this means that I’m forced to watch whatever crappy TV the standard networks throw at me. During football season, this is an extremely dangerous proposition, as I usually get crappy Temple games on the WB network.

- Luckily CBS carried the Georgia/Tennessee showdown in Knoxville yesterday. After watching that spectacle, I have to say that we should definitely beat the Volunteers next month. They are an extremely vulnerable team with an absolutely abysmal quarterback situation. I think the fact that they’re a defensively minded football team plays right into our hands. Our defense is pretty porous, and the fact that they don’t have a proven quarterback that can challenge our weak secondary is lucky. Despite their strong defense, I’ll take my chances with Charlie Weis’s playcalling to keep them off balance.

- I caught some of the Minnesota/Michigan game on ABC. Lloyd Carr is just an abortion of a head coach. I hate that guy, and even though it would have been better for ND if they had won, I will always root against Lloyd Carr. What a stupid name…Lloyd.

- Unfortunately I wasn’t able to catch the game of the night: Penn State/Ohio State. I have to say that I’m not truly surprised at the outcome. Both teams have pretty terrible offenses, and Penn State was obviously at home. As the son of a PSU alum, I’m glad to see them win, but I the downside is that I’ll have to hear about the fact that PSU has now jumped ND in the polls from all the Nittany Lion cronies that I work with.

- Speaking of the polls, when was the last time ND, Penn State, and Alabama were all in the Top 10?

- The Eagles got absolutely murdered today by Drew Bledsoe and his 58 year old knees, which means I’ll have to hear about everything they did wrong on the radio and from co-workers for the next seven days. Awesome.

- Tonight is the first time I’ve gotten to really sit down and watch any baseball playoff games. As a former baseball player, I love this stuff even though my beloved Indians aren’t in it. To me there really is nothing more entertaining than the playoffs. To make things even better, this is a great game. A pitcher’s duel now in the 6th inning. Now if the Angels could just knock off the Yankees in the Bronx, I could rest easy tonight.

- I have seen very little of the new season of Family Guy. Friday night I decided to download episodes 1-8 via Bittorrent to see what I’ve been missing. I have to say, I think the new season is every bit as good as all the classics. Way to go, Seth.

- Nice sacrifice bunt by Steve Finely. I read a good article by Peter Gammons today about how the future of baseball is going to move away from all the power hitting crap of the 90’s. I love to see some good small ball. It’s ironic that I’m an American League fan.

- Back in March I bet $10 that the Cardinals would win the World Series at 15-1. At least for this October, I’m a Cardinal fan.

- I’m still hooked on Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003. Today I shot a 50 on St. Andrews with 7 eagles. I’m freaking awesome.

- Nice, the Angels just scored two runs on back to back doubles. GO HALO’S! Who is this Figgin’s guy? Obviously I didn’t follow MLB closely enough this year. Apparently he led the league in steals. That is one quick little bastard.

- I was just thinking that I haven’t seen Ryan Seacrest in quite some time. What happened to that guy? Actually, the absence has been nice. I should keep my mouth shut as chances are he’s reading this.

- Vlad Guerrero may be the most entertaining player in the majors. The guy just swings at everything and plays great defense. The old school, no batting gloves look is nice as well.

Well, this week’s going to be my last killer week of the year before things officially lighten up for me. I’ll try to do a Monday Night Football blog again tomorrow night, but wanted to get this out there while I could, despite the fact that is completely void of any entertainment value whatsoever.

Thanks for reading!

Butter, out.

MNF Ramblings

Well, it’s been quite some time since I updated Butter’s Podcast. It’s annoying. I think of all this tremendous stuff to say, but I never have time to post. When I do have time, I’m too exhausted at night to muster the inclination to do so. After a few people, including all-around good guy Colin, have decried my recent lack of posting, I figured it was time for another Monday Football rambling post.

- Tonight’s MNF wine of the week is a 2003 McWilliams Hanwood Estate Shiraz. I’m really into Austrailian Shiraz’s right now. Yea, you read that right–I’m really into Austrailian Shiraz’s. That being said, this one is nothing to write home about. High acidity overwhelms the fruit and leads to an overbearing finish. In the words of Paul Giamatti, it’s “quaffable, but far from transcendent”. There, I said it. On to to the ramblings…

- Earlier tonight I watched Jeapordy! (which like “Yahoo!” contains an exclamation point in the title for whatever reason) for the first time since I was about 10 years old at my Nana’s house. The people on this show really are tools, most notably the host. After five minutes I came to the conclusion that I’m about 74% as intelligent, but at least 4 times as cool as every contestant on tonight’s show. The returning champion had only won one show previous to tonight’s escapade, and was getting slaughtered by the time they went around and did the introductions. Her big story about her life was that she “has really bad allergies, and after going to take an test where they tested fourty different allergies, the only one [she] wasn’t allergic to was cockroaches”. Are you freaking kidding me? Her second night on the show and that was the best thing she could come up with? Lie to us, for crying out loud! Tell us your father was held captive in a red Chinese prison. Tell us you once had an affair with Mahatma Ghandi. Tell us you are in fact Kaiser Soze. For the love of Pete, don’t tell us that you can handle a cockroach without dying.

- I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past two weeks, due in large part to a 10 hour drive to Archbold, Ohio to visit Kelly’s grandparents and extended family in her dad’s hometown. Do me a favor and Google Map Archbold, OH. When you live in a place that considers Toledo the “big city”, you know you’re in a real one horse town. My time in Archbold was spent doing the following:
1) Being offered an incredible amount of food
2) Getting sized up by FMB’s 7 aunts
3) Suddenly turning into the Rainman five minutes before Wapner when Kelly’s uncle insisted on changing the channel between the OT Purdue-Minnesota game and the freaking President’s Cup golf tournament instead of the beginning of the ND-Washington game. I didn’t know whether to start beating myself in the head and insisting to take Qantas, or heading to the Kmart at 21 Oak Street, Cincinnati, OH to find boxer shorts that say “Butter” on them.
4) Driving 20 miles to find a Uhaul trailer to rent
5) Reevaluating my life after willingly enterting a Christmas store to look at ornaments, then realizing I was the only person in the entire store with sperm-producing organs.

- I’m only going to say one thing about the Washington game: whatever respect I had for Ty Willingham completely went down the toilet after that abortion of an interview with John Saunders. I’m now officially rooting against him. I hope he gets decimated every single game.

- On the ride home from Ohio, I found myself thinking, “If Jeff Samardzjia asked me to kiss him on the lips, I think I’d probably give him some tongue.”

- Darrin Walls commited to ND this morning. Back in April, I said this was my number 1 recruit that I thought we needed to get. This kid is a stud. He should start next year right next to Ambrose Wooden. We now have 20 signees…ridiculous!

- How nice is it to dominate a quality opponent on the road and never have the game in doubt? That’s twice this year already. I don’t recall doing that very often the past five years.

- I said before the season that Brady Quinn would soon become a dark horse Heisman candidate. That’s all I’m saying for now…

- You know your life is headed in a different direction when the number 1 expense in your Quicken cash flow statement is “jewelry”, followed closely by “carpet”.

- “Commander in Chief” is quickly becoming the WNBA of primetime television.

- Is there anything more annoying than when during the MNF intros these morons say what high school they went to? I want to jump through the screen and strangle them. I want to know where these idiots went to college. Maybe they’re forced to say the last educational institution from which they received a diploma. I guess that’s why some of them have even started to say their elementry schools (no, I’m not making that up).

- Bret Favre just fumbled on the second play of the game. He’s amazing, but it’s about time for him to hang it up and
pursue the promising acting career begun in There’s Something About Mary.

- You know your life is headed in a different direction when the biggest point of contention you experience in a weekend is whether FMB should have her new luggage monogramed with “KLM” or “Mead”. I still say putting your last name on your luggage is stupid. I will probably be in trouble for publicly stating this.

- Has anyone seen the new Family Guy movie? Unfortunately I’m broke and can’t afford to go out and buy the thing. I’d like a review before I spend the time to download it on Bit Torrent.

- The over/under for “number of months Butter continues to steal Wi-Fi from his neighbors without them realizing it” is currently at 8.

Thanks for all those who have continued to check the site. I apologize for the lack of content lately. I actually recorded a podcast last week, but had technical problems getting it uploaded. It seems dumb to upload the thing now. I’ve got another huge return due the 15th, so after that I’ll post more, I swear! Take care all!