Get ‘er done

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Originally uploaded by ndbutter.

Shocking

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Originally uploaded by ndbutter.

This sums up the weekend pretty well I think.

Shave Everywhere

Go here. You won’t be disappointed.

Big weekend

Big weekend this weekend. Huge. In T minus 105 minutes, Matt McDonald arrives at PHL to be picked up by yours truly. After heading home to Anytown, USA, we will engage in a weekend for the ages, most notably the marriage of the two crazy kids to your right.

I expect some crazy performances, as most of the college gang hasn’t gotten together all at once since last summer for Ricke’s wedding. Naturally this is the first time my fiance will get to meet a good portion of the college crew. Good gracious.

There is no question that the 300 mile drive to upstate New York will be well worth the trip.

From the Sports Guy Mailbag

Q: A little while back, a few of my friends had a little talk to decipher how many “poops” your book really is, and we came to this conclusion: It really depends on how long the poop lasts. To figure this out, we made a scale that all poops from this day forward will be judged upon. A poop is anything that lasts under three minutes or less. A doody is anything lasting 3-5 minutes, a crap is anything lasting 5-8 minutes, a dump is anything last 8-10, and a mega-dump is anything 10 and above. Using this scale, I think we will all be able to agree that your book is four mega-dumps, 18 dumps, 24 craps, 17 doodies, and 29 poops long. That settles it.
– Aaron Fons, Danville, Ky.

SG: Yup … these are my readers.

Big Anna Graduates!

Good looking bunch
Originally uploaded by ndbutter.

Congratulations to Big Anna Rice on her graduation from college, and good luck in your new exciting social work career!

Butter’s Podcast

Saw a penny on the ground at the train station this morning. Couldn’t remember if you’re supposed to pick it up when it’s heads up or not, so decided to play it safe just leave it lie. I’m getting married soon and can’t risk any bad luck. I have lots of pennies at home in a big jar on my desk anyway.

Google still all about search, but releases product that’s not working yet

Google has released a few new software engines today that purport to reinforce Google’s dominance in the online search market.

Well, for at least this user, they haven’t proven anything. I went to Google Trends today, and no matter what I type in for a search, I get an error message saying it was a failed term. Even the “examples” Google gives us on the page aren’t working.

Nice job, guys. Does this mean Google Trends is in Alpha status instead of perpetual Beta like all the rest of Google’s products?

Oh, baby!

Last night I got a phone call from my best friend from high school and groomsman, Tim. He had left me a message over the weekend simply saying, “Hey, call me back. I have something I want to talk to you about.” So I knew something was up.

Turns out, he’s having a baby with wife Rachel. They’re due in December.

Part of me laments the fact that this is yet another sign that I am getting old. Part of me looks forward to dropping their future son/daughter on the ground, telling other friends “You gotta see the baaaaaybie”, and claiming that it looks like former U.S. Presidents.

Congratulations, guys!

“No, I’m telling you! That kid really does look like Lyndon Johnson!”

Maybe Whining isn’t that Bad

Whining people are one thing that really annoys me, but according to Mark Cuban, maybe they aren’t so bad after all.

Knott Hall Blog

Tully makes a good point - it’s tough to post to something you didn’t know existed.

Well, let it be known that there is a new and fantastic blog out there that was set up mainly by C. Heffernan with a little help from D. Butter. It’s a place for all the guys to hang out and post about whatever they feel like. We’re giving posting rights to whomever wants them, so let us know and we’ll invite you. It’ll be a good way to stay in contact, which as we all know can be tough at times.

I think it should be a good time.

Knott Hall Alumni and Friends

So far people really stink at posting to this site. What gives?

YouTube is Down!

YouTube is down! What the heck?! What am I supposed to do at work, dangit?!

Warner Bros Will Distribute Movies And TV-Shows Via Bittorrent

Does anyone remember saying that Bittorrent was just going to continue growing in the next year? Well, I’m not one of those guys that likes to go around saying, “I told you so!”, but asi os dije.

Bonds vs. Ruth

Big deal. Barry Bonds hit his 712th career home run yesterday on a full count off the Padres leaving him two shy of Babe Ruth’s amazing 714 mark. Let’s do a little compare/contrast with Bonds and the Sultan of Swat, shall we?

- Nicknames: George Ruth was known by many names including “The Great Bambino”, “The Sultan of Swat”, “The King of Clout”, and of course, just “the Babe”. In most circles, Barry Bonds is known simply as “#$*%&@*”.

- Personality: The Babe was widely loved by women and children alike thanks to his gregarious personality and boyish charm. Bonds on the other hand is largely considered one of the biggest jerks in the history of the game, and is reviled by both fans and media.

- Race: Babe Ruth was a white person. Barry Bonds is a black person. This is a big deal to no one but Bonds who claims the media is out to get him partly because of his race, lessening his appeal even more.

- Rise to Fame: Babe Ruth came out of very difficult circumstances as an orphan in Baltimore. He overcame many hardships to become one of the most beloved ball players of all time. Bonds is the son of former Major League star Bobby Bonds, godson to perhaps the most complete player in history (Willie Mays), distant cousin to Reggie Jackson, and son to a woman ran the hurdles in the 1964 Olympics. Perhaps this is part of the reason Bonds is completely devoid of any semblance of humility.

- Early Career: Babe Ruth famously started his career with the Boston Red Sox for whom he was both a star hitter and pitcher, leading them to several World Series. His move to the Yankees was unprecedented. By the age of 25 he had hit 103 homeruns in a dead ball era when NO ONE hit home runs. Barry Bonds entered MLB a scrawny kid from Arizona State. He played well and had hit 117 home runs by the age of 25 in an era when lots of people hit homeruns.

- Source of Power: Ruth had a natural gift for hitting home runs. He hit home runs at a rate which at the time was unheard of. This was due mainly to his large size (from being a ravenous eater and drinker) and his natural skill. He hit 40 or more home runs 11 times in his career, his first at age 25, his last at age 37. Barry Bonds’ power comes from a combination of jealousy and steroids. He has hit 40 or more home runs 7 times in his career, his first at age 28, his last at age 39.

- Home Run Timing

* Consider the timing of when the two players hit their home runs:

From the start of their careers to age 25; Ruth 103 HR (14% of his total), Bonds 117 HR (16%).
Age 26-30; Ruth 206 HR (29%), Bonds 175 HR (25%).
Age 31-35; Ruth 256 HR (36%), Bonds 202 HR (28%).
Age 36-end of career; Ruth 149 HR (21%), Bonds 218 HR (31%).

* Following Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa’s run at Roger Maris in 1998, Bonds began a stretch of seasons where he averaged almost 49 HR per season until 2004. In the 13 seasons prior to this, he averaged only 32 HR per season. Ruth consistently hit home runs throughout his career. Bonds, on the other hand, got jealous of McGuire and Sosa (who were also juicing), started doping, and hit a ton of home runs at a time that for most players is past their prime.

- Overall Effect on the Game: Babe Ruth changed the game of baseball in a way that no one before or since him has. He turned baseball on its ear. Bonds has helped bring steroids to the forefront which will hopefully bring about change to help prevent cheaters like him succeed in the future. Thanks, Barry.

Conclusion: Barry Bonds is a phoney!

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BP 2006-05-02 (#13)

It’s been way too long everyone! I decided to do a quick catch up podcast. I plan on doing many more of these now that I have a bit more time on my hands. You can find the direct download here.

Send me your thoughts, comments, and suggestions at butterpodcast@gmail.com!

Storage is Cheap

In the spring of 2004 I purchased a 120GB external USB/Firewire hard drive for my laptop for about $165. This was a no-name, generic thing that I found on eBay from some shady company. The drive has worked well for me. I backed up all of my data prior to upgrading to Windows XP. I moved all of my music over and downloaded new stuff. Then late last year I was struck by the wonders of bittorrent and my downloading increased to such extent that I have quickly filled up my faithful, old drive.

What to do, what to do? I’ll tell you what you do! You go out and buy another, bigger hard drive for less money! I just picked up this 320 GB USB/Firewire drive on Buy.com for a meager $160. That’s 50 cents a GB!

Let the downloading begin!

Freaky Malaysian couple tie the knot

I can’t figure this one out. A 33 year old Malaysian man has decided to marry a 104 year old woman in Kuala Lumpur. Here’s what I don’t get:

1) If you’re a guy, generally you try to marry someone younger than you. Marrying a broad 71 years your senior just doesn’t make sense for a variety of reasons that we won’t delve into here

2) The woman has reportedly been married 20 times before this. Polygamy is practiced by Muslim men, but not women. What’s going on then? Is she a nag? Does she yell at her husbands about leaving the toilet seat up? Doesn’t she know how to make good biscuits?

3) The guy isn’t in it for her money because “she’s poor”. Well, if you’re not in it for the money and she’s 104, what are you in it for? Evidently he enjoys teaching her Roman script and learning Islamic religious knowledge.

What do you think?

Want a laugh? Talk to Mike.

Youtube is fantastic. If you’re hankering for laugh, check out this video referenced by Bill Simmons wherein Mike Tyson manages to praise Allah and threaten to eat Lennox Lewis’s children in the same sentence. You can’t make it up.

Man Buys Fighter Jet on eBay

A Chinese businessman has reportedly bought a Mig fighter jet on eBay for $24,730.

Yes, you read that correctly.

The jet, which was last flown in 1995, was bought from someone in Lewiston, Idaho and will be used to decorate some empty office space. Now, there are a few things about this story that concern me:

1) Random Chinese guys are buying weapons of war on a U.S. based auction site,

2) Someone in Lewistown, Idaho had a Mig-21 to sell in the first place, and

3) Evidently you can buy a fighter jet for less than I just spent on my family mobile.

That’s it. I’m returning my Pilot and going in the market for a Mig. I want a Mig. I have to have a Mig. Think of the advantages:

1) Commute to work goes from 65 minutes to 2 minutes (assuming my Mig flies at 1,000 MPH, which it would almost certainly do)

2) Bad traffic instantly becomes a moot point

3) If I can get McDonald to buy an F-14 Tomcat, I can fly to Chicago every Saturday morning, recreate the “flipping the bird” scene in Top Gun, and be back in time for lunch with Kelly McGillis…err…Wyse.

This is genius. I have to make this happen.

That’s it. It’s decided. After my homoerotic game of beach volleyball this afternoon, I’m going to start scouring eBay.

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