A couple years ago I saw a special on John Wayne that said The Duke died with over 30 pounds of impacted feces in his intestines. That had me worried.
Now, there are certain things I can get away with on nights when the wife is at work. I can belch with abandon. I can pee in the bathroom with the door wide open. I can watch several episodes of Deadwood without recourse.
What’s my favorite thing to do, you ask? Eat a big back of dried, tropical medley fruit to clear my insides and watch a Top 10 college football matchup in STUNNING HIGH DEFINITION! Sweet release.
Matt’s colon is about to be one happy camper
November 3, 2006 at 9:05 am
Personally, I prefer raisin bran to rid myself of that pesky impacted stool. Nothing delivers quite the bowel movement as two scoops of sugar-coated raisins and fiber-loaded bran flakes. I can feel the feces movin’ on down. Gotta runs…
November 3, 2006 at 3:38 pm
So seeing your HDTV got me all pumped up about it. Will I be able to convince my wife? Unclear at this point. She keeps talking about trivial things like condos and cars.
November 4, 2006 at 10:26 am
so that I never have to read a post about your colon ever again, please read the following:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fecalcolon.asp
November 6, 2006 at 2:31 pm
[...] In the comments section, Andy wonders if he’ll ever convince his wife to let him buy an HDTV. Well, you married fellas are in luck, because only here can you find the secret to an HDTV purchase. I’ve broken it down into a series of steps. Follow these carefully, and you too could be watching Revenge of the Nerds II in STUNNING HIGH DEFINITION on INHD: [...]